Self deprecation. Excessive amounts of self hatred. Lack of the ability to live. Infinity of lost choices.
Demons, demons… so many of them. But he couldn’t drown them, for they knew how to swim. So they haunted him.
Jongdae, warm and pliant, held him close. And more than the hortensia scent lingering on the fervent skin of his neck, more than that, so more intoxicating was the lulling lilt to Jongdae’s heartbeat, conjuring a dulcet lullaby full of hidden despair behind muttered words that were predestined to be drowned in sorrow.
It wasn’t him who cried. No, the tears gliding down his neck, pooling in the dip of his gaunt flesh before efforetlessly sliding down his chest were not his own, albeit he wondered if several escaped him as well. It was Jongdae sobbing against his neck, fisting the back of his sweater, teeth barred agaisnt the pointy shoulder, weeping like a martyr.
Somewhere between the sordid howls Joonmyeon understood several words, fragments of broken sentences, relevant, but so irrelevant to him in that moment. His eyes stared blankly ahead, and his mind processed less than aught.
"Why do you do this to me?" Jongdae weeped, pulling back to watch Joonmyeon’s eyes casting down, averting from looking at his reddened face and focusing on the new layers of bandages around his wrists Jongdae wrapped some time before. Crying like that, Jongdae was disgusting. But also, so beautiful in his despair. "I told you that… I told you that I will help you." Jongdae’s lips quivered and he hiccuped disgustingly. "I need you. Don’t leave me.”
i cant believe that sehun and tao are bullying kids
dont ever fuck with zico or else